By Charlette Pomme

For years, coaching wasn’t called coaching, it was called leadership.

And at its core, it has always been about how people experience you and come to you for guidance on how they can grow.

True leadership is the impact you have on people that make them want to follow you and learn from you.

No one wakes up in the morning and wants to be managed, they wake up and they want to be led.

Psychological safety is created through the nervous system

Every interaction you have as a leader is being processed at a biological level.

Before logic. Before language.

The brain and body are in constant connection, assessing to answer two simple questions:

Is this safe, or is this a threat?

And will this person support my survival? (my growth)

David Rock’s work in neuroscience highlights this as one of the most important pathways in how we respond to the world. A “go” or “no go” decision. Move towards, or move away.

Your influence has this happening at a biological level in your team all the time.

Your tone, your energy, your response to pressure, your presence in a room.

All of it feeds into whether or not they want to be led by you.

Psychological safety is not something people are told.

It is something their body decides based on your actions, your input and how you show up.

Leadership is emotional influence

“Emotionally intelligent leadership is linked to higher employee satisfaction, engagement, and wellbeing.” 

—  SSR Journals

“Employees with emotionally intelligent managers are four times more likely to stay in their jobs.”

— TalentSmart / Travis Bradberry (widely cited in leadership training literature)

This places leadership as a shared emotional experience.

Not separate from performance.

Part of it.

Dr Tara Swart reinforces this through the concept of social contagion. Emotions move between people quickly. Stress, calm, belief, doubt. These are not contained within individuals. They spread through teams. So if one person is impacted by you, you can be sure that that impact will spread, and quickly. 

When leaders overlook this, they often separate the brain from the body.

Focusing on outcomes, while ignoring the state required to achieve them.

Many high-performing executives treat their body as the thing that gets them to meetings, while their brain is what they were hired for. Sleep, hydration, movement, and stress are then deprioritised.

Over time, something starts to break down.

Because the brain and body are not separate systems.

Stress, for example, is not just a mental experience. It raises cortisol in the body and brain, directly impacting how we think, decide, and relate to others.

The state of a leader becomes the state of the team.

Emotional expression builds trust

One of the most common questions in leadership is:

Why do emotions matter at work?

David Cory speaks to this clearly: “If you do not express your emotions then we can’t know you, and if we can’t know you, we can’t trust you.”

This does not mean unfiltered expression.

It means appropriate, regulated, honest communication.

Psychological safety grows when people experience consistency between what is said and what is felt.

In practice it sounds like this: “Hi team, thanks for turning up to this meeting prepared and on time. I might seem a bit frazzled today, in truth, I am disappointed with the data we just got from the last quarter and just don’t understand it. I’m going to do my best to be present in this meeting and I’m really looking forward to hearing your progress reports and strategising next steps with you today so we can turn this around, together.”

This shows you have considered how your current state will impact everyone else and puts their mind (and body) at rest. Showing that you are being transparent and that they don’t need to work out what’s wrong under the surface. It makes them feel safe. Their energy can then be spent on problem solving and productivity. It also means they are less likely to burn out.

When leaders are willing to acknowledge uncertainty, share perspective, or express how they are experiencing something, it creates permission.

Permission for others to contribute.

Permission for ideas to be shared earlier.

Permission for conversations to go deeper, where real solutions are found.

A simple shift to start with

If you want to build psychological safety this week, start here:

Before your next meeting, ask yourself:

What state am I bringing into this room?

We mean what you are feeling, not just what you have planned to say. It is those feelings that people will respond to first. 

Psychological safety supports better thinking

Many people move through education learning that there is one right answer.

Over time, fewer hands go up.

The cost of being wrong becomes too high.

Then people enter working environments and are asked to think creatively, solve complex problems, and offer new ideas.

Without psychological safety, this becomes difficult.

Because solution-focused creativity and innovation requires movement.

Exploration.

Trying, adjusting, refining.

Leaders play a direct role here.

When responses to ideas are grounded, curious, and open, people continue to contribute.

When responses carry tension, dismissal, or unpredictability, people hold back.

Emotional intelligence in leadership is practical

This is not abstract.

It shows up in five key areas:

• Self-perception – “I can do this”
• Self-expression – communicating internal experience clearly
• Interpersonal connection – building a sense of “together we can do this”
• Decision-making – taking steady, clear action
• Stress management – maintaining your own regulation under pressure

Each of these shapes how safe others feel around you.

Care is the foundation

People don’t care what you know until they know that you care. 

Caring is a signal.

It communicates:

• You are paying attention
• You are aware of impact
• You are invested in the people around you

This is what allows people to stay present, even in challenges.

Final thought

Psychological safety is created through repeated emotional experience, not through intention alone.

Through how you respond.
How you communicate.
How you regulate yourself under pressure.

Emotional intelligence gives you the awareness and skill to shape the environment people step into when they work with you.

That environment becomes the culture.

And when people feel safe, they think better, contribute more, and stay engaged in what they are building together.