By Charlette Pomme

As a coach in training, it’s vital to understand how different areas of the brain inform the way your clients (and you!) communicate. As humans, we naturally rely on distinct “brain zones” for practical, emotional, or social thinking- and when two people speak from mismatched areas, miscommunication arises. By recognising which cognitive language is in play, you can more effectively support your clients, support the conversation, and maintain a strong coaching relationship.

Charles Duhigg explains this as operating from different ‘buckets’ of communication. 

Different Buckets of Communication, Different Coaching Conversations

1. Practical (Prefrontal Cortex)
   
• Decision-Making & Problem-Solving:
  
• Clients operating from this perspective want to find solutions, strategies, or next steps.
  
• The prefrontal cortex handles logic, planning, and rational thought.
  
• Coaching Approach: Provide structured problem-solving techniques and clear goals when someone is in a practical mindset.
  
  
2. Emotional (Amygdala)
   
• Processing Emotions:
  
• Clients engaging from this area often need empathy, validation, and a chance to express how they feel.
  
• The amygdala deals with emotions like fear, anger, excitement, and anxiety.
  
• Coaching Approach: Prioritise active listening, reflective statements, and acknowledgement of emotions before asking if they would like to explore the planning phase.
  
  
3. Social (Often Linked to Hippocampus & Social Cognition Networks)
   
• Connection & Perception:
  
• Clients viewing the conversation socially may focus on how others perceive them or how they fit into a group.
  
• The hippocampus aids in memory formation and context, while other neural networks influence how we interpret social cues.
  
• Coaching Approach: Explore the client’s relationships, sense of belonging, and how they wish to be seen by others.
  
  

Why Mismatched Communication Leads to Coaching Challenges

The Matching Principle: When you and your client come at a situation from different cognitive languages, the dialogue can become strained. For instance:

• Practical vs. Emotional
  
• If you jump into problem-solving while your client is emotionally distressed, they may feel brushed aside or invalidated.
  
• Conversely, if you focus on feelings when they’re set on finding tangible solutions, they might see it as unproductive or frustrating.
  
  
• Emotional vs. Social
  
• Clients focused on pure emotional release can miss social implications, whereas those concerned about social dynamics might not feel heard about the depth of their emotions.
  
  
• Practical vs. Social
  
• A purely task-oriented approach may overlook how relationships and social contexts are impacting the client’s challenges, leaving them feeling unsupported in what matters most to them.
  
  

When coaches recognise these mismatches early, they can pivot and “match” their approach to the client’s dominant style in that moment.

Becoming a “Super Communicator” Coach

1. Recognise the Dominant Style

Pay attention to your client’s words and tone:

• Are they brainstorming solutions? (practical)
  
• Expressing deep feelings? (emotional)
  
• Worried about how others perceive them? (social)
  
  

2. Adapt Your Approach

• Practical: Offer strategies, suggestions, or brainstorming tools.
  
• Emotional: Provide empathetic listening, reflective statements, and space to process.
  
• Social: Help them see the broader relational context and explore interpersonal dynamics.
  
  

3. Validate First

Even if you identify a mismatch, start by validating where they’re coming from. Reflect back their emotions, social concerns, or desire for solutions to create the shift to a cognitive match.

4. Use Targeted Summaries

Close each coaching segment with a brief summary, matching the client’s style. This confirms you’re hearing them accurately- whether you focus on emotions, solutions, or social implications.

5. Check for Understanding

After you respond, invite feedback:

• “Does this align with how you’re feeling?”
  
• “How do you see this fitting into your relationships?”
  
• “Do these steps feel like the right course for you right now?”
  
  

By tuning into these communication buckets, you’ll refine your coaching technique and foster deeper rapport. Super Communicator coaches seamlessly recognise when a client is operating from their prefrontal cortex, amygdala, or social cognition networks- and they adapt accordingly. This skill not only helps prevent misunderstandings but also creates more meaningful, empowering conversations that truly resonate with your clients whilst deepening the client-coach relationship.