So, what actually is Emotional Intelligence (EQ)?

Ask most people what emotional intelligence (EQ) means, and you’ll likely hear:

“It’s about empathy, right?”

And while empathy is important, EQ is far more than being “nice” or agreeable. In fact, EQ is a set of emotional and interpersonal skills that shape how we:

• Recognise and understand our own emotions
  
• Manage our responses in real-time
  
• Tune into other people’s emotions
  
• Build trust, connection, and resilience
  

In other words: EQ is how we connect, lead, and thrive.

And here’s the part many people don’t realise:

Emotional intelligence isn’t fixed. It’s something we can develop, assess, learn, and improve.

Not many people know that EQ is a set of these skills and competencies that can be developed:

EQ Is More Than Being “Nice”

There’s a common misconception that EQ is about being endlessly soft or agreeable. But emotional intelligence is about accuracy, not agreeableness.

It’s the ability to be kind and assertive.
To set boundaries and stay empathetic.
To be real, self-aware, and emotionally precise.

That’s why EQ is considered more predictive of success than IQ.

• 90% of top performers have high emotional intelligence, compared with just 20% of low performers (TalentSmart).
  
  
• EQ accounts for 58% of performance in all job types (Bradberry & Greaves, Emotional Intelligence 2.0).
  
  
• Leaders with higher EQ are shown to increase employee engagement, productivity, and wellbeing (Harvard Business Review, 2017).
  
  

In schools, EQ improves behaviour, learning, and wellbeing. In life, it reduces stress and strengthens relationships.

Why It Matters: Emotions Are Data

Emotions aren’t a distraction. They’re data. They tell us what’s safe, what matters, and what needs attention.

As we say at Unaggi:

“Emotions are messengers. When we listen, we lead.”

Our nervous system is constantly scanning for cues of safety or threat. That’s why you get a gut feeling before your brain can explain it. When you ignore emotions, you miss the information they’re offering. When you learn to work with them, you gain clarity, adaptability, and influence.

Psychologist Dr. Antonio Damasio puts it simply:

“We are not thinking machines that feel; we are feeling machines that think.”

Emotional intelligence is about working with these messengers instead of pushing them away. When you do, you unlock:

• Clearer communication and confidence
• Psychological safety in teams, classrooms, and families
• Stronger relationships with clients, colleagues, and loved ones
• Greater resilience, adaptability, and emotional agility

This isn’t soft science. It’s neuroscience.

Think of EQ Like a Sound Mixing Board

Imagine you’re a sound engineer in front of a mixing board. Each slider represents one part of your EQ:

• Emotional self-awareness
• Self-expression
• Empathy
• Stress tolerance
• Decision-making
• Impulse control
• Interpersonal skills

If you push them all to maximum, you don’t get harmony,  you get distortion.

The art of emotional intelligence is knowing your personal mix: which skills to dial up, which to soften, and how to adjust in different situations. That adaptability is what makes EQ such a powerful skillset for leaders, parents, teachers, and coaches alike.

EQ Is the Foundation of Human Potential

We see EQ as the foundation of human potential. It’s not just something you read about, it’s something you live.

That’s why we embed EQ into:

• Organisations — building emotionally intelligent teams and cultures
  
  
• Schools — teaching emotional literacy alongside academics
  
  
• Coaching training — helping aspiring coaches grow from the inside out
  
  

Because when you master emotional intelligence, you become the main influencer of your own life. Shaping your confidence, your creativity, your leadership, and your relationships.

Final Thought

Emotional intelligence isn’t a buzzword. It’s a skillset you can measure, practice, and strengthen.

It’s not about being perfect, it’s about being adaptable.
Not about being “nice”, but being real, accurate, and connected.

And the question isn’t “Do I have EQ?” It’s “Am I ready to develop it?”

Curious to explore your EQ? Start your journey with Unaggi Academy.

References

• Bradberry, T., & Greaves, J. (2009). Emotional Intelligence 2.0. TalentSmart.
  
  
• Damasio, A. (1994). Descartes’ Error: Emotion, Reason, and the Human Brain. Putnam.
  
  
• Harvard Business Review. (2017). The Business Case for Emotional Intelligence.
  
  
• TalentSmartEQ. (2019). Emotional Intelligence Statistics.